The Lost Years
a collection of work from 2011 to 2016
2014 - 15
gone
These years are a blur. A dark era with dark work. My last plump's topia series was made during these years. They're the perfect example of how my work directly reflects unhealed trauma.
The main theme during this year was destruction. I was being reckless with my camera. I didn't care about the outcome, only the journey and how it felt. I took pictures and never looked at them. I just wanted that rush or release might be more appropriate in this context. I started shooting film as well, and that really pushed my behavior. Not only was I forgetting, but I just didn't want to see them. I remember thinking if I look at them, I'll start criticizing myself, and I couldn't handle that.
This was also the beginning of doing work privately. Doing and making things in my room. I eventually gave up photography and lost my excitement for it.
This project was made for a design class. It wasn’t taken very well, I didn’t really respond well to the brief. I created a book with all the pictures I took during that era. I printed it on newsprint and bound it loosely with staples. It was meant to fade away, to unravel, and cease to exist.
